I Never Wanted to Be A Medium

I was never good at self-promotion and I really liked sitting in the back of the room.  I never fit in with the crowd and I preferred to be alone.

I still like to be alone.

The word alone has some negative connotations, but I assure you, being alone can be an awesome gift. In my case, my loneliness actually brought me a gift.  While I was by myself,  I was able to feel the presence of the Divine, spirits, and angels, but didn’t realize what I was experiencing until I was sixteen.

When I was sixteen, I realized that I could communicate with the dead, but I never wanted to be a mediumNothing terrified me more than being a medium.  I feared  ghosts because I felt spirits  around me constantly and watched stranger’s faces form in my mind’s eye. Whenever I went to bed at night, I left two lamps and my TV on because I felt like I was being watched.

I didn’t want what I was experiencing to be real, but I discovered it was whenever I noticed  the visions of strangers  in my mind’s eye matched pictures of dead people. I decided to test out my visions  on online forums and websites by reading for hundreds of people. I received strong evidence from spirits like names, dates, descriptions, titles, specific memories.

Flash forward to now — I am sitting here trying to think of ways to share what I know to be true and to let more people know about my mediumship services. Except, it doesn’t feel correct to self-promote.

Why? 

Because deep down, I feel like I am still the kid sitting in the back of the room — like I don’t fit in enough. I realized that I was intentionally singling myself out because I wanted to keep my connection to spirit private. A part of me wants mediumship to just be between me and God. I want to be alone.  But, it isn’t just for me. Despite doing medium readings for a decade and knowing how to pull through significant evidence, I still don’t feel like I am ready to step out into the world.

Like me, I think most people struggle with an “imposter complex” (they feel not good enough to do something). You may never think you’re good enough to do what you’ve been called to do.  Even when you’re not living your purpose, the calling will still be there like a weight in your gut.  The longer you live without doing it, the heavier the weight becomes. You may compare yourself to others doing the work you feel called to do. You may feel angry and bitter at your current situation. Maybe you procrastinate for months or zone out on social media to ignore it.

It will still be there. Your calling will be there until you pick up. It’s that incessant ringing that wakes you up at 2 AM.

You only get rid of the anger, comparisons, and bitterness by pushing yourself to do what you’ve been yearning to do.

So today, I am stepping out of the spiritual closet completely. I am Danyelle and I have always been a medium.  I help people connect to their loved ones on the other side.  I value strong evidence and integrity in my readings.

Now, it is your turn.

Do you believe you’re not good enough or that you are an imposter?

What gifts have you been hiding?

What do you feel called to do?

Lots of love,

-Danyelle